Turn Back Time

This is going to be generic as all gets out
everyone wants to say they wish they can turn back time
change something that happened before
so the future would be better.
but you told me your story
im so sorry for everything now
I love you so much
I didnt mean what I said
you never heard but I always screamed
and now I feel nothing but guilt
you wont hear this either
its better that way
never knowing my feelings
so I can talk behind your back.
I didn't know it was like that.
I never knew thats what happened.
And you take pills to sleep through the night.
Not because of energy
but because of stress.
I worry all the time
I have for years now
that you are dying
I dont want you to die
but I can't control everything.
I can't tell you to live
and expect life to work for me.
I wish God would let me turn back time
So I could be a kid again
and tell you that you were beautiful
despite being a mound
it was the future for all of us
now you can barely function physically
but you are a mental powerhouse
you are my scholastic idol
but your emotions are insane
and then you do something like that....

I wish I could turn back time,
watch the clocks tick in rewind.
so i could be a child and tell you all the wonderful things about you
tell you that you dont need this to be beauty
that you are the definition of beauty
it ruined your life
and now your ruining mine
you never needed to be this way
you beauty at the cost of health
your beauty at the cost of stress
you have ruined your life and now your ruining ours
I love you so much
but its just to much for me to handle right now.

But thanks for explaining
now I understand
but you say you will fix it
but its clear you dont even try
i dont know if i should say I love you
or i hate you
RIP or burn in hell
you were so beautiful once but you wanted to be beautiful
so you lost it all
wanting to be beautiful
at the price of true beauty.